What God Says About Disciplining Children (Part 4)

If children are taught the meaning of the word "No" from the early days of their lives, raising them will be much easier, and you will be happy you taught them this little word. On the other hand, if they grow from infants to toddlers without having learned this word through consistent discipline, life will certainly be more difficult.

If they are allowed to reach adolescence with no discipline or understanding of the word "No", I guarantee that you have had many calls from school teachers and administrators, and mostly likely you've had run-ins with other parents over issues concerning children.

Parents who fail to follow God's mandate for discipline live in a world where their child is always right, and can do no wrong (at least in their eyes). As parents you must wake up and realize that children are just that--children; they have to be taught right from wrong, and what's good and bad.

If you put blinders on and never acknowledge their misbehavior through disciplining them, you are doing them a huge disservice. Children really do appreciate boundaries and guidelines. If you would ask adults today who were disciplined as children, they would tell you that they appreciate the fact that their parents raised them with good discipline.

If you are reading this and realize that you must change your approach to discipline, I want you to know that it's not too late. However, depending on the age of your child it could be more difficult. The younger they are, the easier it will be to implement change. The older they are, the more difficult it will be. If they have reached their teen years it will be extremely difficult and few parents have the grit to enforce the change. However, you have got to start somewhere.

Here are some tips to help with discipline:

1. Start early at toddler age.

2. As children grow into their early teen years discipline measures should be altered moving away from coporal punishment toward other suitable measures. Keep in mind, if you have disciplined consistently all along there will be less and less need for corporal punishment. They will have respect for you and will not be defiant because of their upbringing.

3. Never provoke your children to wrath. If you do, they will rebel. Examples below:

• Show them courtesy and respect by disciplining them in private.


• Don't chew them out in front of their friends.


• Acknowlege the things they have done well, rather than always telling them what they've done wrong.


• Don't set a standard so high that no one could reach it. If you do, you have set them up for failure.


• No matter what they've done, he/she is still your child. Let them know that this will never change, and your love for them will never change.

Finally, keep in mind that "All discipline is an act of love for the child".

What God Says About Disciplining Children #3

As I was preparing to write this blog, Fox News aired a segment http://video.foxnews.com/v/4154593/paddling-problem-in-schools stating that a Texas school district was bringing back the paddle. As you know, this is a very controversial subject.

Corporal punishment (paddling) is still allowed in twenty states in the country. Although, if the ACLU has their way, it won't be for long. Congress, egged on by the ACLU is attempting to ban corporal punishment across the United States. This is just one more way of the government attempting to control our lives by telling us what we can and cannot do when it comes to raising our children.

The Texas school district reports that discipline referrals have dropped significantly since bringing back the paddle. But when there is no fear of punishment, kids will say and do whatever they want because they know there will be no repercussions. Likewise, without the fear of punishment many kids show NO respect for authority (parents, teachers, administrators, and even police officers) whatsoever. It is unbelievable to hear the way many (not all) children talk to authority figures in their lives.

Alice Farmer, spokeswoman for the ACLU states that paddling is cruel punishment that causes great physical harm; she goes on to label it as severe abuse. She says that she could cite numerous cases of severe bodily injury. And that no child in this country should have to go to school in fear of such abuse. Although paddling has been reserved for the more serious offences.

First, let me say that there is a vast difference in child abuse and child discipline. There is no way that a paddle applied properly is going to cause severe physical damage to a child. It will make there bottom red and cause them to rethink what they had done to have to be paddled in the first place.

This not to say that there is not cases where administrators were abusive. But the answer is not to throw the baby out with the bath water. You must deal with the wayward administrator, and keep the train on the tracks so to speak. One way to deal with such an issue as abuse is to incorporate video monitoring of all such discipline. I mean we use the video for everything else now. It only seems logical to use it here as well.

We as Christians have been given some guidelines in the scripture. I listed them in part #2 of this blog series. We are told that we are to discipline our children, and if we don't, we don't love them. We are told to discipline them with the paddle. Foolishnesss is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will remove it far from him (Proverbs 22:15)

Why did God say the rod (paddle, swith, belt)? Why not "Time Out" or Restriction? While I believe these latter two do have a place in the upbringing of children, the paddle cannot be taken off the table as it has been in many homes and schools for the last serveral years. The paddle seems to be more of a deterrent than time out, or restriction. Although, when I was growing up I often preferred the belt over restriction because the spanking would be over soon, but restriction would last for days, or even weeks. It was a really bad day when I got both.

As you read this blog please remember that I didn't write the book; I'm just quoting from it.

There will be one more installment in this series.

What God Says About Discipline ( Part 2) 4-15-10

As stated before, when God gives us children He also gives us the responsibility to raise them properly. He does not approve of this lackadaisical attitude toward child rearing. We have a duty to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

If you were to ask the parents of the unruly, fit-throwing child, if they love him/her; they would emphatically respond, "Yes, I love my child". When I hear this it makes me cringe, because I know they have a deep misunderstand of the word "love", especially when it comes to raising children. Let's see what God has to say about it...

1. Proverbs 13:24 (NASB-U) He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Now this comes directly from the Word of God, so it makes it very difficult to argue with. We either believe His Word or we don't. The Word is says that if we do not discipline our children we don't love them. NO! It says, "If we don't discipline them we hate them".
   
   
2. Proverbs 22:6 (NASB-U) Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it. This simply means that even when a child is grown and slipped away from the faith, and not serving God. He or she will never forget the Godly upbringing and standards instilled in them as a child. And I believe when they go through trying times in life and everything else has failed, they will revert back to the foundation on which they were raised.
   
   
3. Proverbs 19:18 (NASB-U) Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death. This literally means that we should discipline our children before their habits are formed and sealed for life. Discipline is in no way advocating abuse, but rather firm discipline. If you fail to discipline your child now, your tenderness and kindness will only bring about more rebellion. It would be better for the child to cry now from punishment that for you both to cry later.
   
   
4. Proverbs 22:15 (NASB-U) Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Yet another scripture telling us the importance of good discipline. Children need discipline just as we needed it growing up. Discipline is what teaches us right from wrong, so without it, everything is okay to say or do in the eyes of a child. The must be taught the meaning of the word "NO".
   
   
5. Proverbs 23:13 (NASB-U) Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. The next verse (14) actually says that our discipline could rescue his soul from hell.
   

We will continue this blog tomorrow.

What God Says About Disciplining Children 4-13-10

When children are born they are surrounded by people who love them. Within a few months they are trying to get them to say two simple words, ma-ma, and da-da. Eventually after hearing this a million times they start to repeat it. It's a wonderful time when they say these words for the first time. We jump and shout and call our parents and friends to celebrate the occurrence.

However, there is a word even shorter than that, and simpler to say. The word is "NO", and I am constantly amazed at the children who have no idea what it means. What is worse, their parents are guilty of never teaching them the meaning of the word. Therefore the child grows up spoiled rotten without the understanding of this word. A little word that could prevent a lot of hardship for them in the future, and could potentially even save their life.

The parents who do not teach their children this word through consistent discipline will regret it shortly. The results will be disastrous. The child will show themselves in public by pitching a fit to get their way, and they will, because they haven't been taught the meaning of the word "NO". It will be embarrassing for the parents, but they have themselves to thank.

I have seen this scenario played out many times over the years with little children. Then they grow into adolescence with the same discipline (or lack thereof) they had as a child. They are just as spoiled as before, and they pitch bigger fits. The difference is, they are bigger now and stronger, and they don't accept "NO" as an answer from anybody. Many at this stage become bully's and find themselves in trouble at school, and with the law.

When God gives us children He also gives us the responsibility to raise them properly. He does not approve of this lackadaisical attitude toward child rearing. We have a duty to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Check back in tomorrow and we will examine what God has to say about the discipline of children.